Day 77 + 14 Days w/o + Day 3 with C

Ah, great to be home again. I'm exhausted but 'wired'. Can't focus on anything.

Differences after living without Concerta for two weeks and three days back on?
Sooooo 'wired', and irritable and headachey and angry, angry, angry! I'm coming off again and I don't think I will go back on again, ever.

Diet?

Was extremely good today. Lots of protein and fruit and veggie juice to make up for lack of veggies on plate. They were good at SMO, though, providing food free of dairy products.


What emotional pangs did I notice today?

Anger and irritation at slow-coach drivers forcing everyone behind them to proceed at 35mph in a 60mph stretch. Admittedly with lots of bends but they could easily have been taken at 55mph. Road was clear, dry, good visibility – no reason to go slow, whatsoever. Clueless idiot!

What feelings about differences did I notice?

Morning class was better than yesterday, but I felt stressed out by lack of cultural knowledge, and bogged down by my need to attend to every detail.

What went well today?
Fellow students were still speaking to me, sort of, most of them. I think I've made at least two new friends.
Tutor very generously offered to produce a soundfile of Scottish place names for me, with English versions, so I could go to a map of Scotland and find places for myself.
I was packed and ready to hand over key before breakfast.
I was where I needed to be, when I needed to be there.
Even bought a few prezzies that would be hard to get in Oban.
Thoroughly enjoyed singing with Oban Gaelic Choir, and being there for the beautiful fireworks to conclude the 2nd edition of Oban's Winter Festival. Very satisfying.

What emotional pangs did I notice?
Being alone. Even though I mixed and mingled with my pals from OGC, and was made to feel very welcome by a few of them, I still don't really feel like I belong. And I'm afraid I really bored the wife of one of the most popular guys. I'm sure she didn't want to talk about her work.

What strengths have I focused on today?

Being organised.

At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Enjoying the amazing views in Skye and over in Lochalsh. Driving into the sunset for about two hours.

What did not go so well?

Frustrated in class to the point of tears choking me up when I asked for help. I felt like a twelve-year-old. Goodness.