Day Fifty-nine

Back from Glasgow. Exhausted now. The stress of the past few days is really kicking in.

What emotional pangs did I notice today?

None.
 What feelings about differences did I notice?

I am so much better off than some of the young a-ADDers I met in Glasgow today.

What went well today?
Good session with the Mac guy; feel encouraged to tweak, manage and upgrade my trusted MacBook and really make this happen. Have dithered long enough!
Found wee starter booties for my goddaughter's baby, one pair was a real bargain!
Interesting meeting with ADDBalance support group members, most (but not all) from the Glasgow area. 
Lovely drive to Glasgow and back; found where I needed to be quite easily.
En route, visited an old friend who lives in the sticks. Enjoyed the meal my friend prepared, and the blether and the company, and the night-time drive home under a star-spangled canopy and in a night light up by the clear half-moon. Gorgeous!

How can I make it happen more regularly?

Keep on keeping on. Look forward to my November trip already.

What strengths have I focused on today?

Becoming a better listener.

At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Driving through the gorgeous autumn countryside. Looking at the stars from a raised bog shrouded in the mist.



What did not go so well?
Arrived at least half an hour late for the monthly ADDBalance support group meeting.
Nearly got lost leaving Glasgow because I misinterpreted the TomTom instruction!

Day Fifty-eight

Back from Dunoon. A gorgeous bus journey after a lovely morning singing with many other choirs. Glasgow tomorrow!

What emotional pangs did I notice today?

Felt a bit lonely on the bus back to Oban. Everyone else seemed to be asleep, either because they were just exhausted (one or two of them), or because they were sleeping off their total hangovers.

What feelings about differences did I notice?

I can only take being part of a crowd for so long.

What went well today?
Was up in good time, managed to be where I needed to be at the time I needed to be there, and still managed to enjoy some time to myself, taking photos of the beach, the sky, the water, Dunoon, mixed choirs. It was lovely to see the sun, too. Today truly felt like a holiday.

How can I make it happen more regularly?

Stay out there, grab the moment, not lose sight of things that need doing.

What strengths have I focused on today?

see above.

At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
see above.

Day Ten plus Fourteen

Another good day after a very short night. Woke very early, knowing I had to check bank balance before going into Glasgow. Bank site was down (maintenance at what is usually a slow time) so I did some catch-up work in Gaelic. Ended up going back to bed for half an hour and managed to nod off, waking just at the right time from a thrilling dream in which I "thought" myself out of drowning in a raging river and ended up flying clear of power lines, facing the clouds and being able to see in microscopic detail the tiniest droplets of water in the mist. Hugely satisfying, both visually and emotionally. But I did want to pull out of the journey down to Glasgow.

What emotional pangs did I notice today?

Travelling into Glasgow I started reading Hallowell/Ratey, Delivered from Distraction (see link on right). I felt inspired and recognised, but I also felt sadness that I was nearly 60 before I began to understand what's been going on. Still, to quote Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra, celebrated American Major League Baseball catcher, outfielder, and manager, "It ain't ovah till it's ovah"!

What went well today?
My very first meeting with Glasgow group of Scottish Adult ADHD Support *). Very productive, stimulating, helpful. What a very nice bunch of people – nine of us there.
I jumped over several inner hurdles to not back out at the last minute.
Also, did a spot of judicious non-shopping, checked out computer situation (something I'd had on the back burner for at least six months), and visited the Glasgow Gallery of Modern Art. 

*) NOTE: 
Until further notice, the Glasgow group of Scottish Adult ADHD Support meet every third Sunday of the month, 2 to 4:30pm, at Costa Coffee, basement lounge, 205 Sauchiehall Street, Glasgow (not to be confused with the CC branch at Waterstone's in Sauchiehall Street).

What strengths have I focused on today?

I can actually focus on others a bit better than I used to.
I can actually keep a promise and be reliable.

At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Love meeting new people, especially people I know to share some of my concerns, who are willing to share and open up.
Looking at vibrant new art, re-acquainting myself with works by older artists who were at the cutting edge a few decades ago.
Riding a comfortable new bus in a spectacular setting.
Composing and polishing a poem.


May I share it with you? It's just a first draft but I may never get round to polishing it any further, so here goes:

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Leaving Glasgow, Going Home

The setting sun slants rays of light

brightens clouds green hills trees sheep

a hobby-horse's orange saddle glows

incongruous on motorway verge

mist rises from the road as speeding

cars pull rain off the black tarmac

up the road we

ride into the driving rain

between gold cauliflower clouds

a slash of blue

all else is blurry grey

above a mercury shimmer –

Loch Lomond

red glow in the dusk bids us wait:

Rest and Be Thankful landslip

cars rush past us
down steeply sloping road

one solitary cloud as light as cottonwool

floats in a darkening sky

rises out of slate and lead

past Taynuilt the view opens

wide beyond wide sea loch

where does the water end

the air begin beneath this sky

where a pale lemon light still lingers?

© MPJ, 16Sep2012