Tough day, sticky, not moving, feeling tired and disorganised.
What emotional pangs did I notice today?
Worried about my parents.
What went well today?
Shipped off part two of a four/five part translation. Did a fair bit of walking. Saw my GP re Concerta and some mouth sores that have been plaguing me for a long time.
We agreed that I would continue on on 2x18mg Concerta Extended Release for another month.
He thinks the downsides of the drug are probably worse than the benefits.
It certainly isn't a magic wand.
How can I make it happen more regularly?
Focus on work. Keep walking.
What strengths have I focused on today?
None. Couldn't focus properly at all.
At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Don't know. Just feel stressed out and tired.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Day Ten plus Seven
Seven days on two tablets/day. GP appointment tomorrow to see how things are going.
My stomach rebels against too much caffeine, otherwise I seem to be fine, if rather "wired" and stressed out rather more than I expected.
Getting as much exercise as I can by walking into town and home again.
What emotional pangs did I notice today?
Had a strange dream this morning and felt sad thinking about it. Felt a bit flat after a good day out.
What went well today?
Getting up in the morning and getting myself ready for extra choir practice in the afternoon; the choir practice itself was hard but ultimately rewarding; had a surprise phone call from my Godfather (not a relative, my father's boyhood friend), who told me he still had a porcelain plate I painted for him back in 1966! Inscribed with a dedication and a sailboat, of all things. I remember doing that, and thinking that yes, I could manage a sailboat with its straight lines... I was really touched and moved that he has kept this over all these years, the dear man.
How can I make it happen more regularly?
Stick with it; be kinder than necessary even to those who treat you unkindly – they may be stuck in Sisyphos' boots...
What strengths have I focused on today?
Be attentive to others, give others a chance to speak but don't pipe down just because a few people shoot daggers each time you open your mouth. That's their problem.
At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Walking into town, face turned into the smirr and the wind. Singing.
My stomach rebels against too much caffeine, otherwise I seem to be fine, if rather "wired" and stressed out rather more than I expected.
Getting as much exercise as I can by walking into town and home again.
What emotional pangs did I notice today?
Had a strange dream this morning and felt sad thinking about it. Felt a bit flat after a good day out.
What went well today?
Getting up in the morning and getting myself ready for extra choir practice in the afternoon; the choir practice itself was hard but ultimately rewarding; had a surprise phone call from my Godfather (not a relative, my father's boyhood friend), who told me he still had a porcelain plate I painted for him back in 1966! Inscribed with a dedication and a sailboat, of all things. I remember doing that, and thinking that yes, I could manage a sailboat with its straight lines... I was really touched and moved that he has kept this over all these years, the dear man.
How can I make it happen more regularly?
Stick with it; be kinder than necessary even to those who treat you unkindly – they may be stuck in Sisyphos' boots...
What strengths have I focused on today?
Be attentive to others, give others a chance to speak but don't pipe down just because a few people shoot daggers each time you open your mouth. That's their problem.
At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Walking into town, face turned into the smirr and the wind. Singing.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Day Ten plus Six
What went well today?
Very good day, excellent in fact:
Managed to do everything on time and/or in good time; took the car over to Mull on the ferry and saw a couple of gannets; leisurely drive in the company of my Gaelic tutor along the "back road" to Dervaig and on to Tobermory – such beautiful scenery even though the cloud was hanging low. Thin cloud, and the sun did manage to come through. We listened to the mixed choirs, which was quite interesting and more varied that I had expected; had a walk about Tobermory, which my tutor knows well; got a bit damp and then dry again.
What emotional pangs did I notice today?
Memories. We talked about a lot of things that have happened in the past.
There are regrets, but there they are: in the past.
What feelings about differences did I notice?
A feeling of serenity. It'll be fine.
How can I make it happen more regularly?
I can try to arrange for outings with friends more often.
What strengths have I focused on today?
I hope I'm improving my listening skills.
At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Driving, just enjoying the day – it was a good day indeed. Topped, on our way back, by the magic of seeing at least half a dozen if not more young/smallish bottlenose dolphins playing in the ferry's wake.
Very good day, excellent in fact:
Managed to do everything on time and/or in good time; took the car over to Mull on the ferry and saw a couple of gannets; leisurely drive in the company of my Gaelic tutor along the "back road" to Dervaig and on to Tobermory – such beautiful scenery even though the cloud was hanging low. Thin cloud, and the sun did manage to come through. We listened to the mixed choirs, which was quite interesting and more varied that I had expected; had a walk about Tobermory, which my tutor knows well; got a bit damp and then dry again.
What emotional pangs did I notice today?
Memories. We talked about a lot of things that have happened in the past.
There are regrets, but there they are: in the past.
What feelings about differences did I notice?
A feeling of serenity. It'll be fine.
How can I make it happen more regularly?
I can try to arrange for outings with friends more often.
What strengths have I focused on today?
I hope I'm improving my listening skills.
At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Driving, just enjoying the day – it was a good day indeed. Topped, on our way back, by the magic of seeing at least half a dozen if not more young/smallish bottlenose dolphins playing in the ferry's wake.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Day Ten plus Five
What emotional pangs did I notice today?
Not sure this will answer the question, but I felt "wired" all day, much more than usual, and in a rush to ship a draft translation off to the author for feedback before my Gaelic lesson.
What feelings about differences did I notice?
Went into this afternoon's Gaelic lesson ill-prepared and virtually without prior revision.
At one point towards the end, I felt a stab of fairly severe stomach pain. Took me by surprise but passed quite quickly.
I have been a bit off my food for the past day or three, with moments of queasiness when last week it was more like almost forgetting to eat and then catching up in the evening.
What went well today?
Did a lot of walking, into town, home again, into town again later that same evening, and home again.
Very nice evening meal with a good friend who had some excellent news; it was a giggly, girly evening, friendship and warmth – lovely. Between the two of us, we managed to drink a whole bottle of rather nice rosé – rather more than I wanted but it was ok, I suppose.
How can I make it happen more regularly?
I can try to arrange for meals with friends more often, but at present, eating out on a regular basis is out of the question. I'd like to cook for friends, though.
What strengths have I focused on today?
After I got home I revised one of my Gaelic conversations and reformatted it so that I can read the Gaelic text without my annotations getting in the way – they've been shunted to the margin... Should've done that a long time ago but it simply didn't occur to me. Ah well, I do think that each time I go over those texts, something new actually does stick and I can pull it out of "the hat" more easily.
At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Listening to my friend, I think.
Off to bed; early start in the morning.
Not sure this will answer the question, but I felt "wired" all day, much more than usual, and in a rush to ship a draft translation off to the author for feedback before my Gaelic lesson.
What feelings about differences did I notice?
Went into this afternoon's Gaelic lesson ill-prepared and virtually without prior revision.
At one point towards the end, I felt a stab of fairly severe stomach pain. Took me by surprise but passed quite quickly.
I have been a bit off my food for the past day or three, with moments of queasiness when last week it was more like almost forgetting to eat and then catching up in the evening.
What went well today?
Did a lot of walking, into town, home again, into town again later that same evening, and home again.
Very nice evening meal with a good friend who had some excellent news; it was a giggly, girly evening, friendship and warmth – lovely. Between the two of us, we managed to drink a whole bottle of rather nice rosé – rather more than I wanted but it was ok, I suppose.
How can I make it happen more regularly?
I can try to arrange for meals with friends more often, but at present, eating out on a regular basis is out of the question. I'd like to cook for friends, though.
What strengths have I focused on today?
After I got home I revised one of my Gaelic conversations and reformatted it so that I can read the Gaelic text without my annotations getting in the way – they've been shunted to the margin... Should've done that a long time ago but it simply didn't occur to me. Ah well, I do think that each time I go over those texts, something new actually does stick and I can pull it out of "the hat" more easily.
At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Listening to my friend, I think.
Off to bed; early start in the morning.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Day Ten plus Four
A productive day, one that brought a number of positive surprises.
What emotional pangs did I notice today?
Not many. The weather was fairly awful, wet, windy, gusty – but I actually quite like it, as long as it doesn't go on and on...
What went well today?
Woke very early, after only five hours' sleep.
Had a fascinating dream – again, as on a previous occasion, one of great clarity and definition. One episode made me feel really happy: there was a very young, bland-faced baby. I was talking to her but I don't remember what I said. Suddenly, she focused on me and her face broke into this really wide grin and her eyes locked into mine, very deliberately and clearly, and I knew she had recognised something and that made her feel good. – Later in the day, at the LORN market, there was the "market baby", and she laughed and smiled at me. Magic!
Next, an unexpected job came in; I did some more work on a tricky translation; completed legal work to secure my tenants' deposit and went to look at the outside of the house – that needs a bit of sorting, very neglected-looking. Not good. But will get better.
Today's big surprise: I've got a place on the accelerated Gaelic distance-learning course (Sep 2012-July 2013) at Sabhal Mòr Ostaig in Skye. Registration deadline was 24 August. I sent an on-line enquiry yesterday and got a reply this morning: because of my background, computer skills etc., they're happy for me to join in even though I missed last week's introduction.
By this evening, it was all arranged, forms filled and posted off and the course paid for.
First session: next Wednesday evening. Shame about the Gaelic conversation group, with which it coincides to a large extent, but I'm hoping I'll be able to join them a bit later.
Also did quite a bit of walking today – to my Thursday evening Tai chi class and home again – and am really tired now. Tai Chi is just so good. I like the instructor and I like the other practitioners.
When I got home from the market, I found my gladioli all buffeted by the gusting wind, so I spent half an hour in the garden, tying them up and cutting away the faded ones so the fresh ones may have a bit more room. And there are some truly exciting flowers coming up – I've no idea what they're called. Will have to take photos tomorrow!
How can I make it happen more regularly?
By sending out positive vibes. By focusing on what really matters.
I've been there before and I know it really works. All the same, it's nice to find it still does! Long may it continue!
What strengths have I focused on today?
Getting lots done at speed. I didn't actually deliberately focus on any of my strengths.
At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Most of the day, actually, but especially as I walked briskly along the Esplanade, with the wind driving soft, warm rain into my face. And on my way back, being almost carried along on the gusts. Exhilarating. People smiled when they saw me, which was really nice.
My niece is now in Istanbul – at least I hope so. And I hope she finds what she went all that way to find. :)
What emotional pangs did I notice today?
Not many. The weather was fairly awful, wet, windy, gusty – but I actually quite like it, as long as it doesn't go on and on...
What went well today?
Woke very early, after only five hours' sleep.
Had a fascinating dream – again, as on a previous occasion, one of great clarity and definition. One episode made me feel really happy: there was a very young, bland-faced baby. I was talking to her but I don't remember what I said. Suddenly, she focused on me and her face broke into this really wide grin and her eyes locked into mine, very deliberately and clearly, and I knew she had recognised something and that made her feel good. – Later in the day, at the LORN market, there was the "market baby", and she laughed and smiled at me. Magic!
Next, an unexpected job came in; I did some more work on a tricky translation; completed legal work to secure my tenants' deposit and went to look at the outside of the house – that needs a bit of sorting, very neglected-looking. Not good. But will get better.
Today's big surprise: I've got a place on the accelerated Gaelic distance-learning course (Sep 2012-July 2013) at Sabhal Mòr Ostaig in Skye. Registration deadline was 24 August. I sent an on-line enquiry yesterday and got a reply this morning: because of my background, computer skills etc., they're happy for me to join in even though I missed last week's introduction.
By this evening, it was all arranged, forms filled and posted off and the course paid for.
First session: next Wednesday evening. Shame about the Gaelic conversation group, with which it coincides to a large extent, but I'm hoping I'll be able to join them a bit later.
Also did quite a bit of walking today – to my Thursday evening Tai chi class and home again – and am really tired now. Tai Chi is just so good. I like the instructor and I like the other practitioners.
When I got home from the market, I found my gladioli all buffeted by the gusting wind, so I spent half an hour in the garden, tying them up and cutting away the faded ones so the fresh ones may have a bit more room. And there are some truly exciting flowers coming up – I've no idea what they're called. Will have to take photos tomorrow!
How can I make it happen more regularly?
By sending out positive vibes. By focusing on what really matters.
I've been there before and I know it really works. All the same, it's nice to find it still does! Long may it continue!
What strengths have I focused on today?
Getting lots done at speed. I didn't actually deliberately focus on any of my strengths.
At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Most of the day, actually, but especially as I walked briskly along the Esplanade, with the wind driving soft, warm rain into my face. And on my way back, being almost carried along on the gusts. Exhilarating. People smiled when they saw me, which was really nice.
My niece is now in Istanbul – at least I hope so. And I hope she finds what she went all that way to find. :)
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Day Ten plus Three
Time passes so very quickly. I'm struggling to juggle everything I set out to do in a day...
What emotional pangs did I notice today?
None to mention, really, just the usual moments when I feel something really crucial is missing from my life. And yet... –
What feelings about differences did I notice?
As before, I've no idea what this question is about. Will have to make some enquiries.
What went well today?
Got lots of things off my to-do list: called the plumber when he didn't turn up; started a fairly tricky translation and enjoyed getting stuck in; paid some bills and invoices; wrote a couple of letters, including one to my parents about a website in German/Switzerland on the subject of Adult ADD/ADHD; walked to my Gaelic conversation group; managed to understand quite a bit of what everybody said.
But lots of new things came onto my to-do-list, so it's onwards and upwards tomorrow.
How can I make it happen more regularly?
Stick with it; keep making lists and STICK TO THE LISTS
What strengths have I focused on today?
Being quite organised if I really have to be
At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Quite a lot of the time.
Highlights?
The bright flash of sunshine coming through the closed curtains at about 8am.
Being up and awake even before that and feeling quite energetic and focused early in the day.
Having breakfast on my porch, in the sun, smelling the clean air of early autumn.
Watching bumblebees for a wee while.
The fact that it only rained a couple of times and I was able to walk to Dunollie Castle in the setting sun – gorgeous!
What emotional pangs did I notice today?
None to mention, really, just the usual moments when I feel something really crucial is missing from my life. And yet... –
What feelings about differences did I notice?
As before, I've no idea what this question is about. Will have to make some enquiries.
What went well today?
Got lots of things off my to-do list: called the plumber when he didn't turn up; started a fairly tricky translation and enjoyed getting stuck in; paid some bills and invoices; wrote a couple of letters, including one to my parents about a website in German/Switzerland on the subject of Adult ADD/ADHD; walked to my Gaelic conversation group; managed to understand quite a bit of what everybody said.
But lots of new things came onto my to-do-list, so it's onwards and upwards tomorrow.
How can I make it happen more regularly?
Stick with it; keep making lists and STICK TO THE LISTS
What strengths have I focused on today?
Being quite organised if I really have to be
At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
Quite a lot of the time.
Highlights?
The bright flash of sunshine coming through the closed curtains at about 8am.
Being up and awake even before that and feeling quite energetic and focused early in the day.
Having breakfast on my porch, in the sun, smelling the clean air of early autumn.
Watching bumblebees for a wee while.
The fact that it only rained a couple of times and I was able to walk to Dunollie Castle in the setting sun – gorgeous!
Mark Bertin, M.D.: Adult ADHD: A Little Awareness Goes a Long Way
"Here's the bottom line: If you have ADHD, by definition you have 'impairment' somewhere in life -- it's part of the diagnosis. If you're
distractible or a little impulsive and thriving across the board, then
you don't have ADHD. The impairment may affect self-esteem, daily
stress and relationships or far subtler matters like obesity, a lifetime
of late bills, or chronic, disabling procrastination. Seeking a
diagnosis isn't a treatment decision but may define the 'why' behind a
lifetime of struggle. It moves you one huge step toward understanding
how best to move forward."
My thoughts, exactly, only much better put, and backed up by medical knowledge I can only wish I had ever acquired. See here for the full article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-bertin-md/adult-adhd_b_1733624.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
Thank you, Deirdre Hannon of Addressing the Balance, for sharing on facebook.
My thoughts, exactly, only much better put, and backed up by medical knowledge I can only wish I had ever acquired. See here for the full article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-bertin-md/adult-adhd_b_1733624.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
Thank you, Deirdre Hannon of Addressing the Balance, for sharing on facebook.
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