Day Ten

Day Ten – ten days of Concerta Extended Release, 18mg/d

Sari Solden's questions again:

What emotional pangs did I notice today?
 None. Good day. Remembered my paternal grandmother and what a hard life she had. Called my sister-in-law to wish my niece well in a new chapter of her life. Posted off a couple of physical letters.

What feelings about differences did I notice?
 Still haven't got a clue what this question is about.

What went well today? Lots of Gaelic, working by myself, working out meanings of words; Gaelic singing; Gaelic class with my private tutor. It's his birthday soon, so I cooked dinner. Nothing hugely special but it was tasty.

How can I make it happen more regularly?
 Keep at it, girl!

What strengths have I focused on today?
 Being able to focus, hyperfocus even, if and when things go right.

At what point did I feel most authentically myself? Again, when I went out barefoot into the wet grass, to pick brambles for my breakfast. And when I got the food ready. And when I scrunched up my brain to try and comprehend some really weird Gaelic sentence structures. It's such a different way of looking at things... Most interesting.

Is Concerta making a difference?

Maybe in that I have found it a bit easier to discern between what I really need to do and what must wait; and that I can put off more easily the pleasurable things until I've done the less fun things.
And also in that all this doesn't matter all that much. When all is said and done, I'm moaning at an extremely high level. Not trying to belittle my situation, but:
elsewhere in the world, people are being flooded, try to survive wars, are having their homes bulldozed...
Not trying to feel better by comparing my life with those who live in abject misery, but:
trying to get a perspective, and to be grateful for all the privilege I've been able to enjoy...