Day Thirty-two

Sore and tired. My arms hurt from all the typing done today, and maybe there's a twinge or three left over from yesterday. Certainly haven't had enough stretching and balancing exercises.
A tough day. Wild weather out there, not as disastrous as further south(-east), but wild nonetheless.

Woke at a decent hour, got up at 8:30. At last pushed myself into the shower and emerged feeling clean and human.
But hung over, as if! Maybe the weather, maybe the fact that I overate on carbs last night. Had no energy, no focus – or hyperfocus on all things other than work.

Result: had to cancel Gaelic choir practice to push ahead on work, of which suddenly there has been quite a bit – yay! I may yet be able to pay all the bills looming on the horizon :) And barely set foot out of doors.

What emotional pangs did I notice today?

Sudden accesses of loneliness, dread, despair, alternating with hyperfocus and elation. A bloody roller-coaster! But chiefly the realisation that I have to stop procrastinating, or else...!

What went well today?
Received an invitation to stay in Glasgow when the need arises. Fellow translator. Very kind!
Confirmed details with my next visitor, one of my very oldest friends. Can't wait! Feel motivated to get stuff out of the way before she arrives.
Cooked a well-balanced meal (chicken, lots of veg, some of yesterday's tatties, on a bed of fresh lettuce); ate only half of it so I can heat up the rest tomorrow.
Shipped off a couple of small jobs (but only barely within the deadline – very naughty!).

How can I make it happen more regularly?

Practice makes perfect?
Certainly will try to eat lots more veg and salads than I did yesterday.

What strengths have I focused on today?

Hyperfocus, pushing myself to beyond my self-perceived limits.

At what point did I feel most authentically myself?
e-corresponding with friends; sorting out transport and accommodation details; getting work done and e-mailed to clients.

Is Concerta making a difference?

As on previous days, I felt hyperfocused on all the wrong things, only managing to snap out of this weird mode in the middle of the afternoon. I have no idea what caused it.
By 7:30 I had not eaten for too long and suffered a mild version of the severe stomach cramps I had as a very young woman, when I was so harrassed and stressed-out in Paris that my GP prescribed – guess what? – some drug similar to Valium. It was a bugger to wean myself off the damned pills! Once I had stopped taking them, it still took years until I managed to leave home without at least two of them in my bag, just in case.

I had forgotten all about that until just this evening – fancy that!

Must stop – right arm very sore now. Wrong posture, so off to do some gentle Tai chi movement exercises before bed.